An Ode to Loneliness

An Ode to Loneliness
 
I feared you like a dreaded disease,

And so to make sure you did not come my way,

I denied your existence, as I stood alone, 
Watching the other children play

Go away, go away! 
I scolded you; I’m not your friend! 
I will deny you till the bitter end

Yet, no matter how much I hated you,

And no matter how much I reprimanded you,

You remained loyal and always by my side,

So silent, so patient, waiting until I would finally agree

That you’re really not my enemy

I remember the day I visited a ‘friend’,

You were nowhere to be found,

At last he’s gone, I’ve won, I’ve won! I cried

But how wrong I was,

For, there you were,

Waiting so patiently just outside the door,

No, it’s not you again?!

I screamed in pain, 
When I found you at the entrance to his place

Go away, be gone with you, you’re not real, you’re a disgrace!

Then, there came a day in my life,

When I was abandoned by all,

First it was my mother then my father,

My children were to follow and finally my wife,

Some died; others made conditions that I could not fulfil,

Yet you remained with me, immortal, eternal, non-judgemental,

Always waiting so tolerantly, for all the others to say goodbye

In my struggle to get rid of you, I was always so depressed, so sad, so sad,

Until one day, a day of inspiration, a day of understanding and maturity

I decided to reject you no longer,

And in my curiosity to perceive you,

I embraced you, I felt you, caressed you

And allowed you in to my life, to be at my side and take up your rightful place

There would be no more denial, no more struggle…..

And to my surprise, on that day, finally,

I found the happiness that had eluded me all my years

Thank you old friend, for your loyalty and your friendship

For always being there for me when all the others deserted me one by one,

Thank you old friend, for never giving up on me

I know now that you will be there with me, 
Until the setting of my sun

And, how paradoxical is it all,

For even as I write these words for other humans to read and take pity on me,

I'm struggling so desperately for their attention 
In this most pathetic way

So that I may at last connect with my own kind.

But by doing so I'm not embracing you to the full,

And in this last gasp of desperation,

I'm secretly stabbing you in the back, so that you die,

Oh! How cruel and selfish am I?

To you, my loyal friend

Yet even though you know this to be the case,

You still refuse to give up on me,

Realising tis just a weakness of the human race

And so, once again, you wait so very patiently for me,

To realise that ultimately all my fellow kind are only concerned for themselves,

And finally give up all hope for their companionship 
Turning back to you once more,

To be as good a friend to you, 
As you have always been to me,

It is then that you get the loyal companion you have always truly deserved